I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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