During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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