why didn't you poke me back
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
