That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
