that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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