saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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