fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
