Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
