oh god the rape fog is back!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
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you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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