i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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