Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize