But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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