I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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