I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You are the jesus of drinking
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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