I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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