I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
