she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize