We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
