do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
only you would photoshop your dick
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I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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