Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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