Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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