Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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