Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize