I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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