there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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