No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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