Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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