3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
