I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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