Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Dicks are not precious.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
