I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize