We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
