he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
