he wants to bone in the snuggie
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
