I think im going to throw up on grandma
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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