I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I faked an abortion last night.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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