3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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