Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
