you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
