absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
