i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
