did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
