I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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