Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Less talking, more tequila
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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