We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
