yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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