Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
tell me about the fingering
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
