He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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