had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
