the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
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