his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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