I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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