On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
