i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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