Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
